We all hit a rut from time to time. But sometimes it feels like the rut is the normal path. Instead of occasionally having to overcome obstacles, we get hit with them over and over.
During these times, I tend to feel hopeless. It feels like nothing I do is good enough. Instead of making progress towards my goals it feels like my goals are moving further and further away. My pace of improvement is slower than the pace of the goals moving away, creating more distance between where I am and where I want to be.
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When I was in high school I learned how to play the guitar. I took a few lessons to get the basics. I read articles on guitar. I tried to be around other musicians as much as possible. I would even spend hours practicing the same chords over and over again.
I didn’t think much about the process. I simply had a goal (to play the guitar) and then did whatever I thought would help me achieve that goal.
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When I graduated from college I recall feeling a tremendous gap between where I was and where I wanted to be. It seemed like I had all of this energy to do something great, but my opportunities were meager and I had to settle for entry-level work that left me unfulfilled.
I think many college graduates feel this way. Some might say it is a feeling of entitlement. Some say it is due to the misconception about what will happen once you have a college degree.
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Improvement in life takes various forms. For most of us, we are forced into an improvement system as we grow from infant to young adult.
We are forced to go to school and learn more and more. We have to learn rules of the world and how exactly we fit in.
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Recently I was able to attend a college football game for one of the larger college football programs in the country. The father of one of the players coached me in football when I was younger so I have known him for years.
At our tailgate, long with his family and many friends and acquaintances was another high school football coach. I was able to strike up conversation with both of them about football and their observations.
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Recently at work I was working on developing a new system for performance management for our staff. We always tracked several important aspects of performance but recently innovated our work processes rendering the old ways to measure performance inaccurate.
We needed a new way. Initially we saw all the reasons why this would be difficult. There is a ton of complexity in the business and trying to find a simple, consistent method seemed impossible.
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Most people think that effort means everything. We go through life assuming if we are going to do something, we have to do it 110%.
Therefore, if we start something, we immediately want to be experts. We don’t want to go through the awkward beginning stages where we are not very coherent and coordinated in our attempts.
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We all hear the advice to stay focused in life. We all know that focus is key to success. But how can we become more focused when there are so many things pulling at our attention?
While it may seem that focus is only for times when you can shut the door to your office and think, it isn’t. Focus needs to be something that you utilize whenever something important comes up so you can properly think through the problem you face to determine the best steps to take.
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When we start studying systems thinking we likely get to a point where we assume the easy answer to changing anything is to simply think differently.
We see the flaws in our thinking. We see when we make shortsighted decisions that hurt us in the long term. The mental models emerge to give us insight into how we think about the world.
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Most people have a difficult time taking responsibility for their actions. For systems thinkers this makes sense. Because everything in life is made up of systems, we can see the complexity that emerges.
Systems thinking shows us that every system has many factors that all interconnect. This makes it very complicated. Therefore, most people skip over the full system and hone in on the factors that directly impact them.
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Have you ever met someone who acts as if he or she knows everything? Any time they give their opinion they promise they are right.
They tend to be overconfident most of the time when they make a decision. Once they make up their mind, it is impossible to change it.
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We all develop ideas in our head based on our experiences. We hear stories from others and listen to lectures from teachers. We read books and articles about what is going on in the world.
From this we build out mental models about our life. We frame life in certain ways to make sense of everything. Through this we start to build a solid mental capacity to continue to tackle life.
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The world is a very complex place. We all go through our day with numerous choices that we have to make to get through our day.
This is empowering because it gives us control. But it is also overwhelming. What if we make the wrong decision?
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How many times in life do you stop and realize the incredible alignment of events had to occur to get you to where you are currently? Do you see the sacrifice others have made so that you can be here, right now?
Most of us sit around in a world of excess complaining about the lack of more. We get too caught up in what someone else has that we don’t. We don’t see that we have exponentially more than most.
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Life is complex. With the complexity that life presents it can be extremely difficult to get to the meaning behind everything.
We might think the key to life is to be successful or to make money. We might think it is to be happy or find joy. We might think it is to serve others or find a way to improve the world.
But are any of these truly accurate? Do any of them, by themselves, really provide a guiding direction to take life? And are we even capable of doing such things? Choosing one means eliminating the others and that is difficult to truly do.
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When I graduated college I found myself in a place of struggle. I seemed to be taking my life in the wrong direction. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something felt wrong.
It seemed like I couldn’t get myself to do what I needed to. I initially blamed everything outside of myself. But then I started to see patterns.
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I stood on the edge of the ocean and looked out. I held a surfboard for the first time in my life and I was about to cross off a bucket list item. But there was a problem. I was afraid of sharks.
I remember the feeling vividly. I was terrified and excited. I was nervous but somehow remained calm. I thought about bailing, coming up with some excuse to keep me from even trying. Then I grabbed the board and ran into the water.
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Everyone has setbacks. Everyone assumes they are taking the right steps in life so when misfortune comes along we tend to get down emotionally. We pity our situation.
But we can’t stay down. We have to learn to see the situation for what it is, learn from it and then move on.
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When I was earning my MBA I took a class on leadership. In it, we discussed the difference between evolutionary change in an organization versus revolutionary change in an organization.
When it comes to the organization evolving over time, the key is to make sure that the company improves and gets better and keeps taking steps in the right direction. It is a much more subtle type of change but incredibly important.
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When I was younger I felt very restricted. I was a student and had responsibility. I had a job, was taking classes etc.
But over time I started to realize how free I was back then. I didn’t have major responsibilities, like a family or career to worry about.
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