The other day I was having a conversation with my daughter about interests. She was expressing an interest in area of her life and said, “I don’t want to have to do all the hard work, I just want to be really good at it.”

She said it to be silly and we both laughed but she emphasized a really good point. Most of us want to be the expert, not the newbie. We dislike being awkward. We don’t like the difficulties of figuring it out. Wouldn’t it be so much better if we can just have the talent without the training?

Life constantly provides feedback—little nudges that tell us something needs to change. Maybe it’s that pang of guilt reminding us to start budgeting or the persistent fatigue signaling a need for exercise.

Yet, despite these signs, most people ignore them. Some notice but push them aside with denial or indifference, avoiding action altogether.

As you embark on a journey of self-improvement using the systems and habits approach to improvement, one element that can create confusion is with regards to measurement.

It is crucial to measure the steps we take and the outcomes we receive. Because we are more concerned with progress over perfection, I tend to emphasize tracking those daily activities. Even when the desired outcomes remain elusive, we can see that we are taking the right steps forward that will eventually result in a win.

I’ve worked for several companies that had busy seasons and some that seemed to be busy all year. One common sentiment is that workers become too busy to work on becoming more efficient, complete training to get better, or coach up their teams.

While this is a frustration and work, I’ve also noticed that some people take this same mindset with them when they leave work. Instead of working to get better, they are always too busy to do what they should do.

Change for the sake of change isn’t always productive. If we’re going to change, it should be with the goal of improving some aspect of our lives. Exploring a new destination or trying a different dish at a restaurant can be enjoyable, but when it comes to personal growth, change should serve a purpose.

I believe in leveraging change as an opportunity for improvement. If my work schedule shifts, I use it as a chance to refine my morning routine. Moving to a new home? I see it as a fresh start to establish healthier eating habits instead of falling into old patterns. Transitions like these give us a unique advantage—they allow us to intentionally shape new behaviors rather than battling ingrained habits later.

When you start using the systems and habits approach to improvement, you will try out many strategies for creating new habits. You will break down your goals into steps that can be taken and then work on the necessary action steps.

This will result in some systems that work and some that get tossed away due to their inability to help you improve. But within those that work, some will rise and become cornerstone systems. Cornerstone systems are the ones that drive multiple areas of improvement and allow you to keep systematically improving over time.

It’s easy to feel like the world is getting worse—news, social media, and our personal struggles can make it seem that way. But if we step back and look at the bigger picture, the data tells a different story. Globally, poverty is at its lowest, and crime trends downward. So why does it feel worse?

We all get stuck from time to time. We wanted to improve some aspect of our lives and gave our best effort and still came up short. It happens. It is frustrating and confusing but doesn’t have to be the end.

One of the disadvantages of the systems and habits approach to improvement is that we often spend significant time building up a new system before we have evidence that it is the right system to reach our stated goal.

Hope is essential for progress. It fuels our belief that things can improve, gives us the optimism to face the future, and helps us transform obstacles into manageable challenges.

I’ve been on both sides of this equation. When hope was absent, I felt stuck. I blamed external factors for my lack of progress and struggled to muster the energy to change. But when hope returned, even in small doses, I found the strength to keep going. Setbacks became temporary instead of permanent, and I refused to let obstacles define me.

The pursuit of perfection often becomes a formidable barrier when we need to improve in life. This obsession with flawlessness can paralyze progress, leading to missed opportunities and stagnation. Embracing the philosophy of progress over perfection allows individuals to move forward, learn from experiences, and achieve meaningful growth.

This principle is exemplified in the life of Michael Afolabi, whose story of resilience and determination offers profound insights into overcoming adversity. I recently had a chance to catch up with Michael and learn about his incredible journey. His story is inspiring, and his message is clear: Take life’s obstacles and learn from them so you are better prepared for life’s next challenge.

Most people navigate life without questioning the systems shaping their understanding of the world. They absorb the 5 o’clock news version of reality—sensational headlines, dramatic soundbites, and fleeting attention-grabbing stories—without ever digging deeper. And in doing so, they fall victim to an honest lie.

Take Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. The media painted a picture of lawlessness: rampant crime, roving gangs, gunfire echoing through the city. Reports of rape and murder were shared and reshared, reinforced by journalists, columnists, and even the mayor. That image persists for many to this day. After all, it was on the news, so it must be true. Or worse, it must have been even more chaotic than reported.

Many authors today argue that we should constantly push ourselves. They argue that if we aren’t sacrificing everything for our goals, then we aren’t trying.

But this is nonsense. The effort approach to improvement has its place but is no way the only way to achieve. In fact, it isn’t even the best way to succeed. 

One theme throughout the Tao Te Ching is the idea that the sage avoids extremes. This often-overlooked wisdom is something that I have observed getting more and more obscure in today’s world.

Instead of accepting the world as it is and working within ourselves to discover success and happiness, we are constantly looking externally. When things don’t go as planned, we find someone else to blame. If we don’t live the life we desire, we crave massive amounts of money so we can change our lot in life.

In the world of systems thinking, there’s a concept known as the systems thinking iceberg. This model illustrates how the deeper layers of a system often go unnoticed. The iceberg analogy is intentional—only 10% of an iceberg is visible above the surface, while the remaining 90% lies hidden beneath.

Similarly, in our daily lives, we tend to focus only on surface-level events. We form opinions based on what we see, rarely diving deeper to uncover the true underlying structures and beliefs shaping our reality. However, when we train ourselves to look beyond the obvious, we gain powerful insights.

As we journey through life, we often encounter inexplicable events that make us question our path. Why didn’t we get that promotion? Why did our relationship falter? In moments like these, it’s tempting to chalk up our disappointments to fate, luck, or karma.

But what if the answer lies closer to home?