The other day I was chatting with an old friend. He explained that his company just hired a new executive. The new executive was brilliant and innovative. But she was also a complete jerk.

He said that the previous executive in that position was fired for being a jerk. She would treat her employees like dirt and would create drama with her intense interactions. The company vowed to find a better fit but brought up someone that seemed identical.

Often in life we get pushed and pulled in so many different directions that we lose sight of the importance. Instead of understanding where we are headed, we wonder, “what is the point?”

It may be when your boss decides to change up the team, giving you tons of extra work that you feel is meaningless. It could be the corporate office hammering on yet another time-consuming idea that probably won’t work.

Life is chaotic, unpredictable, random, and strange. But it is also systematic, predictable, obvious, and normal. It is the great paradox of life. It can be both at the same time.

This makes it difficult. How can we improve if we don’t know what to expect? What if we plan based on the most likely outcome and it doesn’t work out?

Life has a way of settling into rhythms. We wake up to the same alarm, eat familiar meals, head to the same job, and wind down with weekend routines that rarely stray too far from the norm. There's comfort in the predictable—until, of course, the unpredictable shows up.

Even when our lives seem steady, change is always hovering in the background. It may come as a rite of passage, a shift in our responsibilities, or something more sudden and jarring—a loss, a diagnosis, a layoff. We know these moments are possible, yet we often carry on with business as usual, clinging to routines like a safety net.

Life often feels paradoxical. Less often feels like more. The easy road tends to be more difficult in the long run.

One that I come across frequently is the idea that freedom and responsibility are linked. If we are irresponsible, we tend to lose freedoms. But if we take care of what we need to, we gain more freedom to do what we want in life.

Life often presents feedback to us regarding our life. It could be the ping of guilt to start budgeting money or the tiredness that tells us we need to start exercising.

While these are frequent, most miss the warning sign. They may notice them but through denial or indifference, they avoid taking action.

The other day I was listening to someone complain about the current state of the world. They pointed to all the violence and hatred that exists. They said political views divide families and friends. They are argued that crime has never been higher, and that people have never been more selfish.

Most of our personal worlds revolve around systems that impact us. It could be relationships with family, our workload at our job, the weather and economic makeup of our community, our choices in entertainment, etc. Certainly, those can be negative.

Most people live their life without exploring the systems all around us. They remain in the 5 o’clock news version of life. They get all the highlights and the attention-grabbing headlines but barely understand what actually happened or why.

Take Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. News reports at the time reported rapes, murders, roving gangs, gunshots ringing out, etc. That image has remained. The mayor even perpetuated those. Column writers, pundits, journalists all piled on and took those reports and grew them larger and larger and larger.

In systems thinking there is what is known as the systems thinking iceberg. It represents the layers of a system that often go unnoticed.

The use of an iceberg is deliberate. Only 10% of the iceberg is seen from the surface. That means that most (90%) of the frozen ice is beneath the surface and less detectable.

I tend to discourage the idea of change for the sake of change. If you are going to change, do so to improve some aspect of your life. Sure, it is nice to take a trip to a new beach or try a new meal at a restaurant.

But when it comes to self-improvement, I tend to promote the idea that we should look for improvement, or at least the possibility of improvement, whenever we change.

In today's world, we often hear that we must push ourselves to the limit. The message is clear: if we’re not sacrificing everything for our goals, then we’re not trying hard enough.

But that’s simply not true.

For many of us, life becomes predictable. The alarm rings at the same time every morning. Breakfast looks the same day after day. We go to the same job, visit the same restaurants, and stick to familiar weekend routines.

Even for those who seek variety, much of life tends to follow patterns—until something changes. A sudden shift or a major life event can disrupt the rhythm. And yet, through all this routine, there’s always an air of uncertainty. Nothing is guaranteed.

The other day, I had a lighthearted conversation with my daughter about her interests. She said, half-jokingly, “I don’t want to do all the hard work—I just want to be really good at it.”

We both laughed, but her comment pointed to a truth that’s hard to ignore: most of us want to skip the hard parts. We don’t want to feel awkward or wrestle with the challenges of figuring things out. If we’re honest, wouldn’t it be amazing to have the talent without the training?

When adopting a systems and habits approach to self-improvement, one area that often creates confusion is measurement. How do we ensure we're on the right track?

Measurement plays a crucial role in personal growth. By tracking both the actions we take and the results we achieve, we gain clarity on our progress. However, because systems emphasize progress over perfection, I place greater focus on the daily actions we take rather than obsessing over immediate outcomes.

When working to change the systems and habits in our lives, one quality consistently proves essential: resilience. True progress isn’t about making a single change and expecting immediate results. Instead, it’s about committing to sustained, intentional effort over time.

The systems and habits approach to improvement emphasizes gradually adjusting our recurring thoughts and actions rather than chasing instant transformations. This perspective makes change more approachable. Rather than relying solely on willpower to achieve quick results, the focus shifts to steady, consistent actions that build momentum over the long haul.