The power of daily gratitude

We have all heard that we should be more grateful. We should learn to appreciate things in life. We should avoid entitlement.

If we develop an extreme entitlement mindset it is likely to create lasting obstacles in life. If we feel we are owed a great deal, without working for it, we will start to shun hard work because we don’t feel it is fair.

But confirmation bias tells us that we look to confirm what we believe. Most people hold a much greater view of themselves and a reduced view of others.

We go through life assuming we are right and everyone else is wrong. We fight for opinion to be heard. We deny facts when they point against us. We do everything in our power to protect our ego.

There could be some benefit to this mindset. The entitled, selfish individual might be able to take advantage of others to gain more resources. But that isn’t guaranteed and isn’t long-term.

Over time, this mindset takes more than it gives. Others will learn to distrust us. They will avoid partnering with us. They won’t look to help us and may even look to hurt us.

Plus, when we have this entitled mindset, we are not likely content and happy. I’m not quoting any scientific study (although I’m sure there are some). I’m thinking about myself. At times in my life when my ego was in charge, I was selfish, entitled, and lazy. I spent more time depressed and unhappy due to it.

But I didn’t see it at the time. Instead, I blamed others. I found fault in everything outside me. Yet it was me who directed my life.

For me, one of the best ways to rid myself of this ego-first mindset, was to learn how to appreciate. I had to learn gratitude. I had to see the blessings around me, rather than the atrocities.

I’m sure we all have heard to be more grateful. So, why are so many people unable to change their thoughts to be more appreciative?

It comes down to the same obstacle that stops us from eating healthy, exercising, reading more, etc. It is because we don’t do it systematically.

Instead we think of a few things to say thank you for. Maybe it is Thanksgiving and we all go around the table to say what we are thankful for. Then we do it when we get a promotion or a friend beats cancer. But we don’t do it regularly.

The systems and habits approach to improvement focuses on the regularity of activities. Instead of wanting big one-time shows of effort, we work on the subtle, daily routines in our lives. We do things over and over again without making a big show of it.

As we do this, we start to develop habit. We start to continue doing the routine without as much focus. Soon we are doing it automatically. It starts to change the way we think. We start to shift who we are in life.

By combining the classic advice to be more grateful in life with the systems and habits approach to improvement, we unlock the power to make our lives better. We can enjoy richer, more fulfilling life experiences. We can learn to shun the selfish thought for the one of gratitude.