Losing Control
Scott Miker
Most of us want control in our lives. We want to be able to choose the path we take. We want to have freedom over the decisions we make and the situations we face.
But many times control is an illusion. We assume we have control. We have some obvious control in some situations. But there is always a spark of unpredictability in any given life event.
Some people see this optimistically. They say that this means even more good can arrive. Even more joy is possible.
Some people see this pessimistically. They say that this means even more disappointment can arrive. Even more pain is possible.
But through it all, we all crave control but we never have it. Life is too unpredictable, impartial and random.
When we want to improve we should take a different approach to control. Instead of wanting control over the situation, we use the situation to teach us what else we need to change. Then we focus the things we can control. We control our response, not the external factors.
This allows us to feel more empowered. It doesn’t mean we instantly develop an optimistic mindset. It doesn't mean we ignore the unpredictability in life.
Instead it gives us confidence. As we do this more and more we start to realize our capability to handle life’s difficulties. We start to appreciate life’s presents.
Both will always exist. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. But the one thing that we can control is how we respond.
Do we learn to appreciate the good things that happen or do we assume it is our own greatness that caused them? In other words do we stay humble?
Do we learn to accept the bad things that happen and learn from them? This is how we become persistent, durable, and tough.
Our goal should be to remain humble but durable. We appreciate the good but we discount our personal involvement. We take credit for the bad so we can overcome and improve it.
Control over the world is an illusion. As we chase it, it keeps moving forward, out of our reach.
Instead, to improve, we need to focus on control over the things we can control. We have to learn to control our behaviors and thoughts. We have to learn how to control our emotions. We have to learn how to control these elements in life. This is where we have the opportunity to improve and grow.