Just a dream

When it comes to our hopes and desires in life, I’ve noticed that there is a shift as I make my way through life. What started as ambitious dreams have turned into daily realizations of reality.

Part of this is the normal aging process. Research has shown that happiness and life satisfaction follow a curve. They are high in our twenties but slowly decrease. They dip until around age 45 (in the U.S.) and then start rising again.

Most of the world follows this “U” shape. Jonathan Rauch writes about this in his book, The Happiness Curve. He explains that it is quite normal and follows patterns.

In our twenties we are filled with youth, energy, and ambition. But as our life takes form, we start to settle in many areas. But that settling turns to contentment. That contentment helps us to become happier as we age.

But this is only part of it. Part is the shift towards systems and habits. Instead of grand goals and expectations, we see the system for what it is. We see improvement versus becoming complacent. We know where we overcame, even if we didn’t meet our grand ambitions.

We start to see life differently. Instead of wanting the whole world to be influenced by us, we want to simply be there for those we care about.

The full system helps clarify our life experience. By seeing more of the grand system, we can better approach our daily lives.

We will stop shooting for the stars and see that we won’t get anywhere risking it all for a miniscule shot at fame and fortune. Why do that when there are real opportunities all around us?

We have plenty of chances to make a difference. We have plenty of opportunity to do something great. But when we limit our idea of greatness, we can get overwhelmed by the complexity.

The complexity makes it confusing. This leads us away from making a small difference and guides us towards the idea that the only difference that matters is the massive difference.

As we utilize the systems and habits approach to improvement, we start to see getting better as a series of small steps. We see that the world around us will change when we change.

Success with the systems and habits approach to improvement is not about the shot in the dark. It isn’t about overnight success. It is about understanding and then defining what is important to us in life and then aligning our thoughts and actions around it.

While the happiness curve might explain general trends, the systems and habits approach to improvement can help shape that “U” and determine its steepness.

We can learn what is important and adjust our daily activities to maximize the value we provide to those around us. We can improve and grow to become who we want to be, rather than striving to be something we are not.

As I age, I realize that those ambitions weren’t rooted in what was important. Instead, they were just a dream. As I awoke to the systems and habits approach to improvement, I realized the flaw in my thinking. I realized I looked right past what was truly important and focused on something blurry that didn’t even exist the way I thought.