Major Change and Improvement

Change is something we all face. We all go through life changing with the circumstances. This is normal and natural.

We have all met people that seem to take on change with ease and willingness. We also meet people who resist change with everything they have.

Even those resisting change will change throughout their lives. They may seem bull-headed and stick to earlier beliefs, but they will inevitably face changing situations.

I was watching a popular sitcom years ago and they brought humor to the idea of change. They asked, “Can everyone change?”

The final answer was that “sure, but only about 15%”. The idea was that we can all change but not very much. We can’t make extreme changes, but if we work hard and want something different, we can make small adjustments.

Jason Redman is a former Navy SEAL and author. He has spoken many times about his heroics and his infamous injury and recovery. While on a night mission in Iraq, he was shot in the face and was lucky to survive.

While recovering he wrote a letter and attached it to his door. The theme of the letter was for those visiting him to stop coming into the room with sorrow or feeling pity for his injury. He wanted optimism and strength, not pity or sorrow.

His story is fascinating. He wrote a book, The Trident: The Forging and Reforging of a Navy SEAL Leader. In the book he outlines his career, his injury, and his recovery.

While the injury and response provide an incredible display of resilience and perseverance, the real story of change lies in early chapters when he discusses leadership.

His entire life centered around his role as a Navy SEAL leader. However, when he finally had his chance to lead men in battle, he made a critical mistake. This mistake cost him the respect of his team. It cost him his chance to prove himself on the battlefield. It almost cost him his Trident, the special warfare insignia that signified that he was a Navy SEAL.

The book details the mental anguish that he went through. His ego convinced him that he was right and everyone else was wrong. His mental thoughts fought with this for a while. But to reach his goals and dreams, he had to shed his beliefs and humble himself. He had to change his ingrained beliefs about what it means to be a leader.

He did so and worked his way back. He earned the respect of those he worked with and those who put him in charge. It is an incredible story of change. It isn’t a 15% adjustment but a drastic shift in the way he sees himself.

When I think of the question about how much people can change, I always think about this book and the example it provides. There are plenty of other examples of people making drastic changes, and they always seem to have the same basic structure.

First, it is usually conflict that instigates change. The conflict is usually a mix of external and internal conflict. To move forward, one must realize this conflict and then accept their own flaws. They need to silence their ego and humble their thoughts.

They have to see that they were wrong in order to improve. If they can’t, change is not possible. Even with the right words or the right displays of behavioral change, they won’t move much beyond changing 2 or 3% if they can’t internalize the need for change.

Redman exemplifies this. Initially he stuck to his guns. His ego would not let him see anything other than his original point of view, that he was right. If he stuck to this mindset, he would never have come back to reach his ambitions. Instead of changing, his approach would have been to protect his ego and prove that he is right and everyone else was wrong.

By changing his mindset through this drastic shift, he was able to grow beyond his current limitations. He was able to get past the roadblock keeping him where he was instead of letting him go where he wanted to go.

I think we can all use this as motivation. When we hit obstacles that scream at us to change, we have to reduce the resistance. We need to become humble. We must ignore the screaming ego and accept things as they are, not how we think they are.

If we can do this, major change is possible. In fact, it isn’t just that we change. If we do this, major IMPROVEMENT is possible. Improvement in our ability to achieve. Improvement in our thought processes. Improvement in our external opportunities.

If you find yourself stuck, learn to realize that you need to change. Your current efforts, intelligence, situational awareness, etc. must shift. This can be painful but necessary.

Change beyond 15% requires this silencing of the ego. It means you should let go more than you hold onto. It means you can admit when you make a mistake or went in the wrong direction.

This course correction is only possible if you admit that you are off course. Otherwise, you will keep trying to prove that this wrong path is the right path, and you just need to convince everyone. But inside you will know that to be wrong if you can just quiet the screaming ego.