The Influence of the Environment

The environment we live in plays a significant role in shaping who we are. This is a common theme in self-improvement literature, emphasizing how our surroundings influence our thoughts and behaviors. Whether overtly or subtly, the people and culture around us impact us deeply.

This concept is not new; parents have long understood the importance of their children's social circles. They know that their kids' friends can have a powerful influence, just as their kids can influence their friends. Despite this, many of us fail to actively assess our own social environments. How often do we consider who we spend our time with? Do we intentionally surround ourselves with positive influences?

Years ago, I was interviewed for a podcast about self-improvement. When asked about the influences in my life, I talked about my family and friends. However, I also highlighted the impact of reading. By seeking out books by positive authors and immersing myself in their stories, I was able to let their influence shape me.

The interviewer shared that he often sees this phenomenon—people transforming their lives through books. Books offer a unique opportunity for total control over the influences we allow into our lives. Even if it seems like everyone around you is negative, books can provide a source of positive influence.

Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit, discusses the power of culture to influence our identities. She says, “Short-term conformity effects are not what excite me about the power of culture to influence grit. Not exactly.”

Then she says, “What excites me most is the idea that, in the long run, culture has the power to shape our identity. Over time and under the right circumstances, the norms and values of the group to which we belong become our own. We internalize them. We carry them with us. The way we do things around here and why eventually becomes the way I do things and why.

This can be a double-edged sword. Positive role models can uplift us, but a culture that conflicts with our values can lead us astray. I once found myself in a work environment that didn't align with my beliefs. Success was more about networking than merit, which felt wrong to me. Despite the opportunity for advancement, I chose to leave because the person I would have become wasn't who I wanted to be.

It's not always easy to recognize the cultural influences on us. However, we can start by ensuring that our beliefs align with those around us. If there's a significant mismatch, we can work to change our environment. We have some control over the influences in our lives, whether through our social circles or the media we consume. Without actively managing these influences, we risk becoming someone we don't want to be.