Going counter to your conscience
Scott Miker
The other day I was watching TV when a familiar scene appeared. The character was trying to decide what to do. There were two imaginary little characters on each shoulder.
On one shoulder was a miniature devil. The little devil was trying to tell them to do what feels right in the moment. On the other shoulder, an angel. The angel was trying to convince the character to do the right thing.
Life isn’t this black and white. We don't have a devil and an angel arguing it out. We have our complex thoughts streaming through our consciousness. At any given moment we are thinking about a multitude of things.
Because of this we don’t always check our thought patterns. Instead we rely on emotion to control our decisions. If are angry at someone we react with anger. If we are happy, we are pleasant to others.
This may seem fine, but the problem comes in when we habitually start to take the side of the devil. We allow our complex thought processes to justify our behavior. We rationalize our actions.
But this isn’t about trying to do the right thing. It isn’t about developing strong morals and character. It is about developing willpower.
Most people don’t connect the two. They assume willpower is something that comes out when we need to avoid something we want. It isn’t about right and wrong so much as it is about avoiding something unhealthy but pleasurable.
In Primary Greatness: The 12 Levers of Success by Stephen R. Covey, the author connects character development with personal discipline.
Covey says, “Many people need to break with the physical and emotional addictions that hold them down and reduce their quality of life. Until that happens, there can be little progress because the body is controlling the will. Once the break is made, people then have a path to progress. If they can get some degree of control over their appetites, they can have some degree of control over their passions, and even begin to structure their motivations and desires. Their character development can then skyrocket.”
He goes on to say, “We all struggle with these physical habits and appetites daily. Personally, I know that I have to keep myself under the influence of wisdom, conscience, and correct principles, or else sooner or later I suffer the effects directly, or those around me start to suffer. Violating one principle can lead to violating another; for example, I find that if I gorge at dinner, I might not be sensitive later to other people’s feelings. I have to live in control. Anytime I start feeling angry, if I go into self-analysis, I can usually trace that anger back to some indiscretion or indulgence on my part. I may justify and rationalize my behavior, but if I go counter to my conscience, I know it weakens my will.”
If we can start to build up our character, our personal discipline will follow. If we develop personal discipline, our character will improve. The two are linked.
Yet most of us are so focused on justifying that we miss this. We need to shift to develop the right habits. Then we continually grow our character and strengthen our willpower.