Change Yourself Not Others

Most people want the world to change. They see things they dislike. They find aspects unfair. They wish for the world to be better.

There is an inherent problem with this. Because people find fault in everything, there is always something to blame for our own unhappiness. We can always find something in the world that isn’t right, and then use it as a scapegoat.

Meanwhile the world continues on. It doesn’t care about what you or I think. It operates and moves forward based on its own systems. These systems are powerful. They don’t change easily.

Spending your thoughts and energy on outside forces means that you will expend all of your energy with nothing to show for it. Those systems are powerful. You are not likely to make much of an impact.

Before you get discouraged, realize that this is ONLY when we talk about changing the outside world. If, instead, we focus on changing ourself, we can have enormous impact.

The power and control in life come not from seeing fault in the outside world, but in seeing it within us. Because then we can take the steps necessary to change. To improve. To grow. To get better.

This means the outside world will improve. That is how you gain control. You control how you interact with the outside world. You change yourself to benefit from the systems structures. Instead of fighting against them, you use them to get more value from the world.

In The Wim Hof Method – Activate Your Full Human Potential, author Wim Hof says, “If you engage too much in outside validation, you lose the path to yourself. You get off course. Self-love is being proud of yourself by your own lights. What is your best? Move toward that, not the best of your neighbors. Back yourself. Care for yourself. Not by protecting the ego, no, but by remaining present for your being when you feel most afraid, most uncomfortable, or awkward. Be calm in your love for yourself. It will enable you to see others more clearly and with more compassion. Don’t seek to change others; change yourself. Just mind your own mind others mind theirs. Show them who you are through your actions, through your conviction. Be clear and transparent, vulnerable. If I cared what others thought of me, I would have stopped going a long time ago. I would have been eaten by the system.”

In other words, the way to not get eaten by the system is to focus on self-improvement. Don’t worry about improving others. Don’t worry what others think of you. Focus internally.

Allow yourself to grow and get better by working on you. Let the world swirl around you. Calm your mind in the midst of this outside chaos.

We all have the ability to make the world a better place. But it doesn’t happen the way most people assume. We don’t snap our fingers and the world lines up for our next command.

Instead, the outside world is constantly passing its own judgment on you. If you pay too much attention to it, it will knock you off course. It will bully you around. The world will seem evil. You will be eaten by the system.