Full Control

The other day I was listening to reggae music and I heard a song about full control. It started my mind around control and how most people want more control in life.

We all crave control. We wish we could snap our fingers and have anything we want. Some would create peace on earth. Some would create riches for themselves or others. Some would treat life like an extended vacation and never work again.

Control is a funny thing. It seems absolute. It seems like you have control, or someone else has the control. It says the government is in control. Or it says your boss has control.

The problem is that control is NOT absolute. We don’t have a genie popping from a bottle to grant us wishes. We can’t pray to a deity to make things the way we desire.

Control comes in fits and spurts. When we start to evaluate it systematically, this makes sense. We all have control over some things in life. We have no control in other areas. Then there is a vast middle ground.

To crave more control is normal. To learn how to gain control is less common. The reason is that gaining control starts with controlling yourself. That takes work. That isn’t about a magic genie.

But once you start to gain control over yourself, you understand what control is. It isn’t wishing and hoping. It isn’t about forcing. Instead it is about developing the right structures in your life.

This is where the systems and habits approach to improvement becomes powerful. By slowly changing our life for the better, we start to gain control over our thoughts and behaviors.

As we do this, we learn what control is and why it is often more of an illusion than an absolute. We all have some control in life. But nobody has total control. Nobody has full control.

Instead we should focus on the areas that we do control. We are in control of our mind. We are in control of our behaviors. Yet, how many times do you have to apologize to someone for something you did and feel guilty about?

Therefore, we can start to feel more in-control by working on the things in our life that we are responsible for. We can start to develop the right behaviors. Then we repeat those behaviors and turn those behaviors into behavior patterns.

As those patterns develop, they start to solidify. They become our routines and habits. Those routines and habits start to create structure. Then our thinking starts to rationalize our behavior patterns.

This process works the same whether positive or negative behaviors. You can see it for teenagers starting to experiment with drugs and alcohol. You can also see it when someone gets motivated and starts to exercise and eat healthy.

That is why I say we have control there. That is why I recommend starting there to feel more in-control. You can start to form your life based on what you really want.

Instead of wanting complete control in life, or giving it away so you are free from responsibility, learn to seize control over yourself. Learn how to control your thoughts and actions to create more happiness and prosperity in your life.