Enough is enough

Our society craves more. We want more of everything we judge as good. It could be feelings such as happiness, joy, pleasure, etc. It could be material possessions and resources such as money, cars, houses etc.

On its face, this doesn’t pose a problem. If we want more happiness and are willing to do what is necessary to obtain that happiness, what is the problem? If we want to travel more and take a higher paying job to fund our adventures, who does it hurt? If we want a nice car or a nice house and are willing to do the work to obtain those goals, why shouldn’t we work for those?

It seems like this is a great way to go through life. It is appealing. Going along with this mindset (always wanting more of what we judge as enjoyable), we learn that we also want to minimize the bad things in life. We don’t want the struggle. We don’t want the strife.

It seems like a logical road to happiness and contentment. Why, then, are there so many people miserable? Why does it seem like discontentment and angst run rampant in our world today? When we break this down systematically, we start to see a different picture.

When we want more, even when we have enough, that is called greed. It is fueled by the desire for more, even at the cost of someone else. We push for more for us. This means we will do anything we can to obtain it, leaving less for others.

When we want less of the bad things in life, we want others to face those bad things, not us. We don’t want to deal with the pain that occurs in life. By trying to avoid discomfort, we push even more to others.

The reason this approach to life is flawed, is because the systems aren’t that simple. There are feedback loops at play. The full system includes both good and bad. When we strive for more of the good stuff, we naturally get more of the bad stuff as well.

Let’s look at a quick example. I love to eat. I used to eat unhealthy foods because I enjoyed them. I didn’t enjoy eating healthy items. I ate fried food, sugary desserts, etc. I always avoided whole wheat, vegetables, fruits, and anything else that was considered healthy eating.

This isn’t uncommon. When I would eat, I would eat for pleasure. This meant that I would be full but keep eating because it tasted so good. I wanted more of the good stuff.

But this created a negative reinforcing feedback loop. The more I ate, the more fat my body stored. The more it stored, the hungrier I would get. I would have to eat more and more to be as full. When I wasn’t getting the nutrients that I needed to be healthy, my body responded by craving more. So, I would keep feeding it, but I would feed it more of the unhealthy options.

In this case, the craving for more created future discontentment. I would experience health issues associated with access weight. The loop would keep reinforcing. I would gain more and more weight. I would eat more and more. I would feel less and less happy. I always seemed to feel my life was lacking pleasure and happiness.

This example shows that the idea of wanting more is flawed. In my case, more pleasure from food meant more discontentment later. More wasn’t better than less. Striving for more meant I kept pushing the level I wanted. I never reached it, I just kept chasing it.

Life is full of these systems that seem contradictory. They seem paradoxical. But when we start to pay attention to them, we learn a different lesson.

This is also true when we attempt to minimize the negative aspects to life. We avoid the hard work that is necessary to grow and improve. We don’t take the difficult steps forward. We look for the easy way out. But that doesn’t lead to a better future.

We don’t need more when we feel we have enough. The craving for more comes from a feeling of lacking. If we feel we are lacking, it is difficult to be content. To be happier, we must learn how to feel adequate, not subpar. But chasing more will always leave us feeling inadequate.

We have to convince ourselves that enough is enough. We don’t need more. In fact, everything you need in life you have. Everything you view as lacking, is simply your greed creating a gap between reality and your daydream fantasies.

This doesn’t mean you don’t acquire more. It doesn’t mean you don’t strive to improve. In fact, when you change to the mindset of enough, you start to realize that extra becomes an unnecessary bonus. You appreciate it. But you don’t need more to be happy. You are happy and content with everything you currently have. You are more willing to do the hard work necessary to improve.

As you switch from more to better, you also realize that the negative aspects you want to avoid are necessary parts of the system. The discomfort around working out is necessary to improve your physique. But when you strive to avoid discomfort, you avoid taking the difficult steps forward. Those steps are necessary.

Shifting from wanting more to striving for improvement helps to create the mindset that you have enough but are always wanting to get better. It allows you to be content but avoid becoming complacent. Doing this will align with the systems in life to allow you to go through life constantly getting better while remaining happy.