Balance from loss

The world needs balance. Our lives need to have balance. Without balance things get chaotic and unhealthy.

The earth is full of balancing aspects to keep everything moving. Our body is constantly working to remain in a balanced state.

Our expenses should include balance also. If we spend too much, we will feel the strain from debt. If we don’t spend for things that improve our wellbeing and enjoyment of life, we may very well die of old age all alone wishing we did more in life.

In politics, the U.S. has seen balance throughout its history. Sure, there are swings towards the political left or right, but it always seems to balance out. I argue that this balance is good and necessary. It is the reason our forefathers were able to create a structure that remains today, despite a lifestyle that would be unrecognizable to them.

I am a big fan of college football. I spend most fall Saturdays watching the games and enjoying the competition on display. Living in Ohio, I have grown to enjoy rooting for Ohio State.

Ohio State is one of the premier college football schools in the country. Consistently playing well, they often win many games and lose few.

Ohio State’s rival, Michigan, is another premier college football school. The rivalry has been built up over decades of competition. In fact, many in Ohio refuse to say the school’s name of their rival. Instead, they refer to it as “The Team Up North” or TTUN.

These hardcore Ohio State fans will never root for Michigan to win. Even if a Michigan win helped our conference and indirectly helped Ohio State, they would want Michigan to lose. Since I am more of a fan of the sport than any particular team, I tend to be much less of a diehard Ohio State fan.

For many years, Ohio State won every year’s matchup. It became one-sided as Ohio State dominated the conference and Michigan struggled to win consistently. Many of my Ohio State friends enjoyed this. They seemed to have a real hate for Michigan and wanted to see them crushed each year.

From a college football fan standpoint, the sport is better when there is balance. One side dominating makes for a boring game. A balanced matchup makes for an intriguing game.

But this doesn’t make it easier on those years when Ohio State loses to Michigan. Each year I state that I want there to be balance, but not this year.

This means that what is best is for there to be balance but what I want is for an Ohio State victory. When Michigan wins, I am borderline distraught, despite knowing the value that comes from this back-and-forth rivalry.

That is the interesting thing about balance. Often, we don’t want balance in the moment. We want it overall. But in the moment, we want what we crave.

This same conflict appears every time someone brings donuts to work. While I know that I need to eat healthy and not accept every sugary treat, having the donut in front of me unleashes a new set of urges.

This is the exact reason why the systems and habits approach to improvement is effective. Instead of hoping that willpower, motivation, and reasoning, will rise and help us stay on track, we build systems that bring that balance.

Instead of hoping to win enough to balance things out, we create the systems in life that provide balance. By going through our systems, we remain balanced. Instead of relying on willpower or logic in the face of our desires, we conscribe our life in a different way.

With balance, we often must face reality that to achieve balance both sides will have their time to shine and their time to struggle. It reminds of the messaging in the Tao Te Ching, that there is a time for rest and a time for exhaustion, a time for being safe and time for being in danger, a time for being ahead and a time for being behind.

Because that balance, those opposites living together, means more than one without the other.

When I was younger, I struggled with this. I didn’t want discomfort. This translated to a lazy lifestyle where I didn’t work out, eat right, or work enough. I was miserable.

When I transitioned and started doing those difficult, but uncomfortable, aspects of life, balance restored. The malaise of life faded, and contentment remained in its place. By including those difficult, uncomfortable things, my life got better, not worse. This was because balance was restored and balance is much more important in life that we realize while in each moment.