Extremes Regress

One theme throughout the Tao Te Ching is the idea that the sage avoids extremes. This often-overlooked wisdom is something that I have observed getting more and more obscure in today’s world.

Instead of accepting the world as it is and working within ourselves to discover success and happiness, we are constantly looking externally. When things don’t go as planned, we find someone else to blame. If we don’t live the life we desire, we crave massive amounts of money so we can change our lot in life.

If someone pushes to the extremes we pay attention. When an entrepreneur creates massive wealth books are written admiring his ambitious genius. If an athlete breaks the mold, we cherish the opportunity to watch her perform.

Why, then, does the Tao promote the idea of remaining humble? With social media and the news outlets, we know that extremes pay. Nobody cares about the humble runner up. No, we want that boastful winner. We want to see more and more about them, flooding our newsfeed with their accomplishments.

It isn’t just with these success stories. Time and again we witness on the daily news some lone wolf striking out to do something extreme and violent. Whether they are taking a shot at a president at a rally or CEO walking down the street in NY, we can’t look away.

Those horrible individuals know that. This is the reason they take that approach. They want the fame and spotlight, even if it paints them as evil. They don’t care as long as they get noticed for taking the extreme path.

What if we are traveling in the wrong direction? What if the Tao was right all along? What if the key to internal peace, success, happiness, etc. is by avoiding those extremes and finding our own humility and gratitude?

If we stop trying to be LeBron James, can we become a great youth coach that helps dozens of young athletes learn about more than just basketball but life? If we stop craving Warren Buffet’s wealth, can we create a small fortune that can pass through generations and continue to grow?

I find myself falling for the extreme dupe. I get sucked into the uniqueness and mesmerizing nature of the next celebrity downfall. I wonder how the next genius entrepreneur made so much money.

But happiness comes, not from those extremes or chasing them, but through a humble gratitude. Michael Singer, in his book, The Untethered Soul, says, “In the end, enjoying life’s experiences is the only rational thing to do. You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you're going to be here, be happy and enjoy the experience.”

Yet we ignore that to tune in to the next celebrity gossip show or podcast interview with some conspiracy theorist. I am not absolved of this.

But what I notice is that the more I get sucked in, the more unhappy, frustrated, and bored I become. The more I turn away from it and notice nature, a beautifully decorated retail store, enjoy a high school football game, delicious meal, or the joy on someone else’s face, the more I forget about the reasons why life is tough.

Maybe that is what Lao Tzu was telling us in the Tao Te Ching. If we stop getting distracted by extremes, we realize the greatness that lives within us all and around us all. Instead of calling for revolution, we can find a way to help a neighbor or friend who needs a hand. Instead of needing the gold medal, maybe we are content letting someone else have the spotlight. Instead of searching for the evil, we notice the noble. Instead of depression we fall into joy.