Learn to spot the lesson

Patterns are important. They help us to understand the world around us. We find the commonality in life and then determine what to expect.

If we get too caught up in the one-off, we ignore the patterns. We keep seeing past the lessons. We can’t make sense of things.

But when we stop to evaluate the patterns, we start to understand the systems in life. The underlying systems create the events that repeat and form patterns.

But I’ve seen examples of ignoring the systems creating devastation. Instead of seeing the patterns and making necessary changes, we continue to point to external factors. We see the elements we cannot control and throw up our hands in exhaustion, saying, “see it isn’t my fault and not something I can change.”

But often, there are elements we have dominion over. We have some control even in the most repressive system.

I use an example in my book, “You Can’t Surf from the Shore.” In the book, I present the example, “Years ago, I met someone who wanted to quit smoking cigarettes. He said his health was starting to deteriorate. But since he relied on linear thinking, he kept saying that it wasn’t his fault. He felt victimized. He blamed the cigarette companies. He blamed his childhood friend who introduced him to smoking. He blamed the government. He blamed the doctors.”

I go on to say, “Yet he continued to smoke. He ignored any lesson. He shunned any accountability for his situation. As his health worsened, he ignored the patterns. At first it was a nagging cough. He didn’t change so that turned into difficulty breathing. He went to a doctor and the doctor let him know that he needed to quit smoking to get better. Still, he argued that it wasn’t his fault, and he was free to do whatever he wanted. Eventually he was diagnosed with cancer. It appears the lessons became harsher as he continued to ignore them.”

So, if we want to improve, we have to spot these patterns and learn the lessons.

It is surprising to me to hear people who get caught up in the present moment. They become prisoner of the moment and can’t see past the current situation.

When the stock market is rising, they assume it will always rise. When recession hits, they assume this is the end. The think things will continue to depress.

But if we take a step back and look for patterns, we see that the stock market always fluctuates. What happened today doesn’t mean next year it will be the same.

This helps us to form a more realistic view of how to get better. We see the recurring aspects of life.

But what does this mean? How can we use this insight to improve our lives?

The first thing is to stop looking for excuses. Most of us spend our energy finding an excuse or someone to blame.

We don’t look for our actions that created a situation. This causes us to find fault in others but rid our ego of any culpability.

Do you continue to find yourself making similar mistakes? Are there areas of your life that don’t seem to change regardless of how much you want them to change?

The pattern is tipping you off to insight into the problem. The problem is usually fixable if you can see and understand the lesson. If you are too busy making excuses, you miss the lesson.

Once you realize the error in your ways from seeing the lessons from the patterns in life, you can start to create better patterns. You can form consistency by doing the right things in a regular pattern.

As you do this it will become easier. Instead of finding a scapegoat, you will find something you control that you can change. You might hit a bad patch from time to time, but you will know how to adjust to get back on track.

So, spot the patterns. Then learn from them. See the lesson that you are to learn from the patterns and then take action to improve the recurring behaviors and form new, beneficial patterns.