The Allure of the Comparison

Most of are guilty of comparing our personal accomplishments with others. We see someone in our field win an award and feel inadequate. We see numerous people struggle to make it at our company and feel pride for being able to survive and thrive in such a challenging space.

These comparisons to others are common. They seem to help point us in the right direction. It shows us what is possible. Or it shows us what we have accomplished.

But in both situations, we aren’t seeing the full system. We are seeing a slice of the full system and then making judgments from it.

It often leaves us with shallow, insecure feelings. Or it boosts our ego until our head can’t fit through the doorway.

Both ego-driven emotional responses hinder our contentment and success. Instead of remaining humble yet confident, we become insecure, arrogant, and detached from reality.

To thrive, we must understand the limitations created when we constantly compare. Everyone starts from a different starting line. Everyone faces different challenges along the way.

Instead of looking outside for validation, we should look inside. If we can learn to become content, we can realize that we have everything we need and shouldn’t feel “less than” by looking at those with more success.

Instead of being filled with cockiness, we can humble our thoughts and realize that there is much more work to do.

Rory Vaden has a great saying. He says, “Success is never owned it is rented, and the rent is due every day.”

I love this approach. It shifts from being competitive and trying to one-up someone else to being focused on remaining humble and doing the work to keep improving.

The ego will sabotage your success and create a world of problems for you. Insecurity will keep telling you that you aren’t good enough. Neither helps. They hurt you from a success and happiness standpoint.

But seeing that success is only rented, we are left with the understanding that we need to keep working hard every day. We can’t rest on the success we have had. We don’t assume we are somehow superior (smarter, better, stronger, etc.) than others giving us the chance to slack while still reaching new levels of success.

It tells us that whatever got us here was through hard work. What we need to get to the next level is hard work.

I love this quote because it attacks that external comparison that we all fall victim to from time to time. We all compare against our coworkers or competitors, but this doesn’t do anything to help us keep getting better.

To keep getting better we should avoid the external comparison. We should focus on humility and gratefulness. We should continue being confident while putting in the work, knowing that success is never owned, only rented. But by taking this approach we will continue to pay the rent required for success.