The blocker between knowing and doing is important

If I surveyed people in the United States and asked them if they would rather have wealth or not, they would almost all say they would prefer the money. If the option was between a perfect physique or an unhealthy body, we all know what would get chosen most.

If I asked people what someone should do if they want to build wealth, many would have great suggestions. They would talk about investing, not spending on frivolous items, and living within one’s means.

If we wanted to know how to get a perfect physique, they would likely have relevant suggestions. They know that exercise and nutrition are important. As are sleep and mental health.

Why then, are there so many people that want it, know how to get it, but still fall so far from that ideal? The answer is that there is something blocking us. This isn’t a linear transaction. Knowing how to get something and getting it aren’t directly connected.

In between lies the challenge. In between lies the incredible sacrifice that we need to make. In between lies the difficult steps and the emotional fortitude we would need to overcome massive obstacles. It becomes a trap when you wan the outcome but aren’t willing to do what is required.

A great way to think of it is that it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Doing it is much harder than any other aspect. If we want the success, we must do the things necessary, not just know what they are.

While most motivational speakers or coaches would take this moment to try and motivate you to want to begin doing the things necessary, I am not going to. Most would assume we need a combination of effort and resilience. They would argue that you are great and just need to express that greatness through hard work.

But the truth is that most of us shouldn’t work towards extreme goals. The “do” part is life changing. It changes our life in a way that might not be right.

I like to use the fact that I assume I want something, know how to get it, but still come up short to explore that in between stage. It will often tell you who you are and what you believe. It gives you limitations in your abilities but shows that often those mental models holding you back are the same ones that are making your life worthwhile.

If I surveyed the same group and asked if they wanted wealth but they would have to give up the most prized aspects in their life (e.g., their family, their reputation, their inner peace, their enjoyment) the response would change.

If I asked if they wanted a perfect physique but could never enjoy a delicious meal or relax on the couch watching TV, the responses would be much less consistent.

Therefore, in life we need to understand the full scope. The systems and habits approach to improvement uses this mindset to help us explore the in between. We better understand what steps are required. We know what we need to sacrifice.

Often the conclusion is that we are unwilling to make that sacrifice. And for good reasons. The lifestyle change isn’t worth the end result. We will get everything we think we want but lose everything we care about in the process.

But here is the catch. Instead of looking at extremes and talking about perfect solutions, we can get better. We can improve. We must shift our focus from these wild endings to day-to-day processes.

Suddenly we don’t have to make those massive sacrifices. We can sacrifice the daily latte to help pay off our debt. We can live within our means but still go out for a nice meal. We can have lazy days and pig-out days but still live in a healthy body.

To me, this is where we should focus. We should stop fantasizing about those massive rewards for the extremes. We should stop idolizing those who sacrificed everything. The image of who they became ignores many aspects that were sacrificed. They felt it was worth it, but it might not be worth it to you or me.

But don’t let that convince you there is nothing to do, no way to grow. There are plenty of ways to make small tweaks to keep improving our life. We can start to see rewards from our hard work. We can get closer and closer to success.

As we do this we learn. We learn how to take the steps and follow the processes that we will need to change. We will learn what is possible versus what is probable. We can decide to keep pushing and go for the massive success or we can contently improve our life over time. This will lead to happiness and achievement even if it doesn’t put you on the cover of a magazine with people around the world wishing they accomplished what you did.

It will help you become self-actualized, not a self-made billionaire. It will grow your abilities. It will provide you wisdom. You will see how silly certain goals are when you see the full system. Other aspects you will learn to cherish in ways you never have before.

The key is to learn that blocker in between your wildest dreams and what you are doing. That holds the path forward for you. It might be to chase extremes, or it might be to take a few steps forward and dig out of a hole. Whatever it is for you, you will no longer be blind to the path of true improvement. You will break free from the common trap of desiring extremes.