Willpower is finite ish

I emphasize in my articles and books the limitations of using willpower. Many studies have explored willpower and conclude that it is a finite resource.

As we use willpower, it depletes. If we have a stressful day of work and use willpower to get through it without screaming at someone, then we won’t have as much willpower to avoid the fast-food lane on the drive home.

While I feel this is a great way to help people avoid the trap of expecting willpower to provide all the effort required to change, this concept isn’t all-inclusive.

As with anything in life, there is more complexity. There is more to the system. This is a small snapshot. It is one that provides insight to help improve, but it doesn’t include everything.

In other words, I know that the idea that willpower is finite is flawed and inaccurate. But I use it anyways because it provides benefit.

The reason is simple. It is more like layers in an onion than a one-time fact that will change your life. Once you realize that willpower is finite you will stop expecting it to be your sole tool to accomplish your goals.

But finite willpower seems contradictory when explored in various ways. Let’s say it is an absolute truth. Would that mean if you spend your morning giving into every temptation that presents itself you have more willpower later?

Have you ever eating a delicious meal but still found yourself eating dessert afterwards? Wouldn’t that contradict the idea that willpower is finite?

Or have you found that after you exercise, you are less likely to stop on the way home for fast-food?

It seems, from these examples, that willpower grows as you use it.

What about habit? If you build up a habit to do something positive, you use much less willpower to keep the habit going. Does that mean that you automatically have more for later events?

The truth is that willpower is finite-ish. For the most part this is a good concept to help you learn how to overcome temptation with techniques other than a strong will.

The strong will method is flawed and weak. We need to stop expecting will to rise and save us. Instead, we need to determine how to succeed despite our willpower in those hot moments.

After you break your mental model that willpower is the only tool available, you can explore its depth. You can see the full system around willpower is broad and multifaceted.

Then you can learn how to build willpower. A few wins over your temptations will help create a force that assists willpower. Giving in to temptation will further deplete your willpower. It doesn’t build it up.

Therefore, if you build habits that help you improve, they provide more benefit than with that single aspect. Those strong habits will help you achieve your original goal. They will also help you build up your willpower.

This creates a reinforcing feedback loop. You use less willpower to do the right thing. You receive the benefits of this action. It further grows your ability to use willpower. You have more there and can take larger steps forward. (Note – if you are familiar with my book, You Can’t Surf from the Shore, this ties in with the section on setting the minimum and the hot cold empathy gap).

If you continue without building the right habit, you will create a diminishing feedback loop. You will use whatever little willpower you have to try and avoid temptation. But you won’t have enough to overcome the indulgence.

You will give in. This will sap your willpower and tell you that you aren’t strong enough. Your willpower doesn’t grow from this, it becomes weaker. The next time you want to use it, you have even less than before, causing you to fail. This diminishes your ability to use willpower over time.

This is more aligned with the full system of willpower. Willpower is finite. But only when you look at it during a small period when you don’t feel positive about avoiding temptation. It is finicky. It might add with some external motivation for a short burst of willpower at a certain time. But it also can grow when you use it and dimmish when you don’t.

That seems much more contradictory and harder to use to help improve. Instead, the best approach is to realize that it is finite. But there are strategies to help you improve without relying on willpower and can learn to grow the power of your will over time.